Randomness is the Biggest Threat
by Xanthera
Summary: Ichigo is 15 and [gasp] pregnant! Can Retasu, Zakuro and Minto find the culprit bfore Purin embarasses herself with her usual stupid accusations? Rated T for obvious reasons.


**Yeah, yeah, I know. I need to post Peaches and Cream. But I've had this sitting in my hard drive for months and I just HAD to post it or I would lose it! So here's something funny.**

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Ichigo: -_runs into Café Mew Mew-_ Guys! -_pants, leans against a wall-_ I have something important to tell you!

Minto: -_stops drinking tea-_

Retasu: -_drops a dish-_

Purin: -_whips on her Sherlock Holmes costume, just because she thinks she'll need it-_

Zakuro: -_looks indifferent, as per usual-_

Ryou and Kiiechiro: -_poke their heads out of the basement-_

Everyone except Ichigo: What is it?

Ichigo: I'm pre… Oh, I don't feel well… -_falls into a beanbag chair that randomly appears-_

Purin: -_runs over at the speed of cartoon-_ This all points to one conclusion! Ichigo tried to say a word starting with "Pre," and now she feels too sick to say the whole word! Which must mean the word is DUN, DUN, DUUUN! "Pregnant!"

Everyone, including Ichigo: -_gaspeth-_

Ichigo: Wait, I--

Purin: I will find out who did this! GUYS, GET IN HERE! -_every important boy character randomly appears in front of her-_ Lets start the interrogation with… KISSHU!

Kisshu: What?!

Purin: Isn't it true that you always call Ichigo your "TOY?!"

Zakuro: Yes, you do seem to find her attractive.

Kisshu: That doesn't mean I--

Purin: THEN isn't it possible that while walking-- er, floating along one day, you saw Ichigo, took her to your home and--

Minto: You _really_ don't need to give us the details, Purin.

Kisshu: I'm not THAT much of a perv! Geez!

Ichigo: Guys, I--

Purin: -_pays no attention-_ Then explain where you were last night!

Kisshu: -_shifty eyes-_ I was… -_gulp-_ making out with Minto.

Everyone: -_gasp-_

Minto: It's true. -_kisses Kisshu-_ We're in love.

Kisshu: I'm over you, Ichigo.

Ichigo: Then I wont need this false mustache, after all. -_tosses a mustache out the window, where some guy in his underwear puts it on-_

Purin: If it wasn't Kisshu, then we should move onto… Aoyoma Masaya!

Masaya: But I--

Retasu: -_whispers to Minto and Zakuro while Purin rants in the background-_ Let's find out who it was before Purin embarrasses herself even more.

Zakuro: Good idea.

Ichigo: Guys, I-- -_continues to be ignored-_ Oh, well. I'll just have to keep myself busy. -_pulls out a Rubik's cube and starts trying to solve it-_

Retasu, Minto and Zakuro: -_sneak up on Ichigo and take a sample from her arm with a HUGE needle, then run away-_

Ichigo: OW! How did a mosquito get in the café?

_Retasu, Minto and Zakuro sneak into the basement to use Kiiechiro's chemistry set._

Zakuro: Now we can find out who it was with this DNA sample.

Retasu: -_puts on a lab coat-_ Indeed. -_looks like a professor because of her glasses-_

Minto: -_pours random chemicals, they blow up in her face-_

Retasu: -_sigh_- Give me that. -_pulls the test tube away from Minto, sweatdropping-_

Zakuro: -_flicks Minto on the shoulder, all the black stuff falls off-_

Minto: Thanks, Onee-sama. -_heart eyes_-

_They continue to play with chemicals for about thirty more seconds._

Retasu: I have found the solution!

_They stare at the results._

Minto: No way… That can't be right, can it?

Zakuro: It seems to be.

Retasu: Then we have to share our findings! -_they run upstairs-_

Purin: -_currently tickle-torturing the third suspect, Taruto-_ So you're SURE you didn't cheat on me, Tar Tar?

Taruto: I swear! Hahaha! I didn't do anything--heeheehee!

Minto: We have found the culprit!

Purin: What?! -_takes off the Sherlock Holmes costume, which is promptly stolen by some mustached guy in his underwear (guess who)-_

Sherlock Holmes: Thank you. -_disappears-_

Zakuro: It turns out that Ichigo ISN'T pregnant.

Ichigo: FINALLY someone figures it out.

Retasu: But we still didn't find out what word she was trying to say earlier. What was it you wanted to say, Ichigo?

Ichigo: I was going to say that I'm preparing a cruise for all of us because a dude with a huge cardboard check showed up and gave me $50,000. -(_A/N I'm too lazy to find out how much that is in Yen_)-

Ryou: But why were you all of a sudden not feeling well?

Ichigo: I ate too many cookies.

Everyone: -_glares at Purin-_

Purin: Umm… -_sweatdrop-_ Heheh. -_pulls out the memory eraser from Men In Black-_ That never happened! -_zaps everyone-_

Kiiechiro: What's important, Ichigo?

Pai: And why are **we** here? -_looks around at Kisshu and Tart-_

Ichigo: I'm preparing a cruise for all of us because a dude with a huge cardboard check showed up and gave me $50,000!

Everyone: Yay!

Purin: Muahaha…

**The End…?**

A/N: Yes, I took the false mustache thing from the Fairly Odd Parents. But other then that… yeah, I just got the idea one day and had to write it. Tell me what you think! Also, I don't support Minto and Kisshu as a couple. C'mon people, what is there bewteen them?!


End file.
